Aloha !
12 days and counting ! :)
Well, I have spent most of my day shredding documents. Those damn docs that I had no idea I've kept for so many years. It feels good. Great, to be exact. I am not yet finished, but close , and I feel great ! There were some divorce docs in the pile and I didn't even read any of it , just simply proceeded to shred. That was such a painful period in my Life , so very long ago. Broken heart, broken dreams, broken spirit ........Daniel was only a year and a half old......Looking back, I am so glad that he was so very young, although I knew he knew something was happening , even at that tender young age......No one wins. No One. I have forgiven long ago , and most importantly, I have forgiven myself too . Michael and I communicate frequently still . In many ways, we are kindred spirits and share many simular interests . Peace and Love to you Michael .
And I watch strangers, hurrying to their appointments and destinations , as I wander slowly each day, whenever I am out and about . Yes, I wander. A few months ago, I sat down beside a lady who was holding tight to her backpack. I smiled at her and that immediately started conversation. I asked her where she was going and she told me that she was down from Kelowna visiting her son. We talked a bit and she asked me where I was going. I smiled and told her, " Oh, just wandering " and she laughed. I mean, I knew where I was going, but I was in no hurry , and I had lots of time, and I often take detours and end up somewhere else. So, while the general destination is in mind, I preamble , meander , and wander.........
I am a volunteer Literacy Tutor at Strathcona Elementary on Mondays. I am there from 8:45 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. and I tutor 7 children , Grade 3 and Grade 4. The children that I tutor are literally United Nations, very multi -national , just the way I like ! :) They are all very dear to my heart. Several weeks ago, on my way to tutoring, I was on the #22 bus which goes through Chinatown . A homeless man got on the bus and the bus driver gave him a free ride. As he walked towards the back of the bus, I could see everyone shifting in their seats . I think it was a subconcious thing , as his scent was somewhat ripe from a high probability of not bathing for quite a while , and no one wanted him to sit beside them . He sensed it too.,the overall uneasiness . I knew he felt uneasy too. He walked back and forth , pacing and muttering something and I couldn' t really hear his exact words as I had my earphones on and was listening to my music . And then he sat down in front of me, on the seat along side of me . Because silly me, I smiled at him. While listening to my music, I looked up and smiled at him. He started talking and I wasn't really paying attention but I turned my music down , and nodded once in a while , just to acknowledge him. Crapola, I was probably , unbeknownst to me, agreeing with whatever he said when I nodded. He dropped a stack of papers held together with a large black foldover clip on the bus floor . As he bent over to pick up the papers , I said to him, " Is that your
resume ? " knowing full well that it was not. Well, he thought that was so funny and he laughed and laughed and I laughed with him. He told me that he was applying for a grant. " That's a really nice sweater you have on " I said to him. It really was a nice sweater , cream colour, with a purple and green nordic pattern. He beamed from ear to ear . He was wearing all the clothes that he owned on his back , strategically layered . He checked both his pant pockets and pulled out small pieces of paper and a five dollar bill and a ten dollar bill. While he definitely had more cash in his pockets than I had in mine , that was most likely all he had . As he was nearing his stop, he stood up and smiled at me and said, " Go ahead, grab my ass, they're my best assets ! " He grabs his own butt with both hands and I laughed. He backs up a bit towards me, " Go ahead ! " I could see the bus driver looking at us from his mirror , with a smile of amusement on his face . " No thanks, but they are decent looking ! " As he got off the bus, he waved at me until I was out of sight . It was very sweet. He was happy, on a cold rainy Vancouver Monday. And someone talked to him and made him laugh .
I would walked through Chinatown , go to New Town Bakery and get one of their steamed meat buns ( usually chicken ) for breakfast on my way to Strathcona. On my home, I would walk down Keefer Street and go to Kent's Kitchen and get their $4.50 special which is a choice of 2 food items over steamed rice. This ends up being 3 meals for me : lunch , dinner, lunch . You can't beat $ 4.50 for that !!!!
Did you know that daffodils don't like other flowers ? I was told this from May, who owns May's Flowers in Lonsdale Quay. May told me not to put daffodils with other flowers. I bought some tulips and hyacinths from her four days ago. I asked her if hyacinths are agreeable with other flowers. She didn't know as she had never paired tulips and hyacinths together in the same bouquet .She told me to let her know. I went yesterday and happliy advised her that hyacinths enjoy tulips' company . She thought that I made a great pairing, putting hyacinths and tulips together in my own bouquet. My apartment smells wonderful . I have a beautiful bouquet of purple hyacinths, pink hyacinths, red tulips, and yellow tulips , with thick long pale green tulip leaves bracing the flower bouquet erect. The tulips have become lyrical now, as their stems are curving downward. The tulips all start out erect and tall , and as the days go by in the vase, their stems curve and the flowers bow downwards, each tulip heading in its own direction, its own path........I love how the tulip stems look when they are curved . They are lyrical to me in movement , creating their own choreography in the vase . Soon, some of the tulip petals will fall.......
It is surreal . I really am living my dream . I will be in Kalani in 12 days !!!!!!! Yes, I am very excited ! To be able to paint , dance , cook beautiful meals, and do yoga every day , what more can I ask ? All my friends think that I may not come back. I am open to possibilties . Completely open . My Life has radically changed in just these past 9 months , Jeesh, like birthing a baby ! Guess that would be me ! : ) I am reborn again ! Everything truly is new . I still look at Nature in wonderment . These past few weeks , I have often stood in rapt silence , under a cherry tree heavy with thick pink blossoms , creating a sheltering canopy above . Passerbys paused , wondering what I am looking at up in the trees . I am simply looking at the blossoms , taking it all in with awe and appreciation . I can feel the beauty surround me and Life renewal coursing through me .
I am ready to face the future. I have a plan in place , with options for detours . I will be like the Ohia Lehua , putting roots down on volcanic rock...... There is a deep knowing within me that Kalani will be Life changing for me......That is undoubted . I am ready . Bring it on. First, I have to pack. : ) To bring, or not to bring, that is the question. Time to let go. A much simpler Life , like the homeless man , wearing all his earthly possessions on his back.
" Facing Future " . That is the album name of one of Izzy's albums. Facing future . " Somewhere Over the Rainbow...... " Hawaii is full of rainbows...... God's promises......
I am ready ! Ready to face the Future !
Aloha . Carpe Diem !
x0x0x0x0
Molly
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