Wed, May, 30th , 2012
Today , I remember and honor the Life of someone I met so very briefly......Jai came up to me and introduced himself to me on my first full day at Kalani......I remembered his name because it is so unique but I have difficulty putting clarity to his physical being . I have met so many people here these past 2 weeks . This beautiful tormented soul took his own Life last week.....He went home , back to small town USA , and took his own Life.........
Kalani had a memorial service for Jai today. ....a beautiful creative artistic soul ........tormented and lost..... I was telling some of the volunteers about Jai coming up to me and introducing himself and they all were very surprised and said that was most unusual as Jai is very shy and keeps very much to himself. He is not one that would go up to you and introduce himself. Jai , I am honoured to have met you . I remember your warm handshake and smile , on my first day at Kalani......This, I do remember . Mahalo .
On a daily basis , we often take each day for granted . Often, we take our health too for granted , whether it be our physical health , or our mental health . What is exactly one's breaking point , the point where it becomes unbearable and the belief is that there is no other way out except to end one's precious Life......it brings tears to my eyes to even write this.....
Yes, we all have our moments of great sadness , moments even of great despair, sometimes even moments of hopelessness......and at the end of the day , sometimes but not always , it boils down to how we were raised as children , whether we were loved , supported and encouraged , whether we were given self worth , whether even our existence is acknowledged and cherished...........whether all of this is repeated again as we become adults......
And how does one leave Paradise , to have to go back to the possible Hell that may be one's everyday Life ? ............How does one make the transition ? So clear in colors. Black and white . In this, there is no gray.....There are no rainbow colours here , no joy......no sunshine..... I believe Jai saw rainbows here . I believe Jai's spirit and heart was honoured here at Kalani..... Here, he was able to express his heart's desire. I believe that Jai's Life here at Kalani was full of rainbow colours....... He returned home and saw only darkness......the colours of the wind left his heart and spirit......
Early this morning, I went and picked plumeria blossoms and orchids to make a lei for Jai A lei of aloha. Kalani had a lei making hour to make leis for Jai's memorial service. I was wearing my peacock blue and gold summer dress with a crochet neckline .......I lifted my dress up in the front to use as an apron basket to put my flower blossoms in . I made a beautiful fragrant lei with the plumeria blossoms and orchids . I wore the lei all day with much aloha , enjoying the wonderful fragrance , waiting to give it for the memorial service .
The memorial service was so very beautiful . It was held at the Point . The Point is a cliff side with lava rock and intermittent suggestions of yellow green grass , the ocean crashing on the rocks below.......the many shades of gorgeous deep to translucent blues of the cresting ocean waves , frothy white and glittering like tiny diamonds in the sunshine .......the setting was/ is so incredibly beautiful .......
In memorial of Jai , August 26th , 1967 to May 25th, 2012 ........At the end of the service , the song " May the Long Time Sun Shine Upon You " was played as we all sang along ..The singer has such a beautiful voice .
Here is the link to the beautiful song :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8eoEv1tnTU
" May the long time Sun shine upon you
All Love surround you
And the pure Light within you
Guide your way Home "
The first time I heard this song was during savasana last week in yoga and it brought tears to my eyes......The service started with an opening Hawaiian chant with Jonathan ( hula teacher ) in full Hawaiian tradition dress and also a closing Hawaiian chant. It was very powerful and spiritual . We then gave the leis that we made to Roy and Brett . One by one, we put our leis around Roy and Brett 's necks . They were both heavily laden with leis that we have made for Jai. They were to bring the leis further out into the ocean . The two brave young bucks carefully went down the lower part of the lava rock cliff side and went out into the swelling ocean surf on their surf boards .......they swam out quite a distance , with all of us watching on top of the cliff ......... they took off their leis , one by one and placed them gently on the ocean surf . I could tell that they were saying a blessing with each lei placed on the ocean waves by the way they paused with each lei before they were placed on the ocean waves . We could see the flowers cresting and falling with the ocean waves joyfully in the sun . Off in the distance, on the horizon , where the ocean met the sky , a rainbow appeared . It was magical , spiritual , and so very very beautiful .
We were all given leaves from the autograph tree with a small branch to write with . The leaves from the autograph tree are so thick that you can write and draw on it. We each wrote a message on the leaf with the branch . I sailed my message on the autograph leaf over the cliffside into the powerful crashing waves below , eventually it will be carried far out into the ocean.......
Today, I honour and remember a man whose hand I touched , in fleeting handshake and welcoming aloha......
Jai, you have affected me in a profound way. Mahalo for helping me remember how loved I am by my family and friends.....mahalo for helping me remember the great beauty that is in this world......Mahalo Jai .
Jai, may your spirit be at peace....may you know how you passing has touched the hearts of many....and how many loved you and grief in the lost of your beautiful soul on this earth......may God hold you in his loving arms eternally .
Jai , Shanti.....Shanti.....Shanti.......
Shanti and Aloha..........Peace and Love........
x0x0x0x0
Molly
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